The topic that has really stuck out to me this week is the dynamics in a family. The kind of family you have can change based on how many kids you have, the ages of the kids, the gender of the kids, etc. A family is like a small community with its own dynamics and each child has their own roles. I have seen these dynamics take action in my own family, as well as other families in my community. 

There are four children in my family, and the dynamics are pretty simple. My older brother and I are very close, being the first two children in the family. We grew up playing together in the sandbox and being the best of friends. My two younger siblings are the same way. I love all my siblings but because of the age difference I have a different relationship with my older brother than I do with my youngest sister. This is just one example of how age has a major impact on family dynamics. It is often shown that the oldest child in the family takes a parental role to the younger siblings. They can sometimes be seen as “the bossy one” or “the responsible one.” The youngest child is seen as the opposite. In my family, we tease the youngest as being “the spoiled one.” Then we have the middle child. Middle children are a different breed. It is pretty much a wild card, but let’s just say if there is a child in time out it is probably them. Because these stereotypes exist, does not mean that every family follows this outline. Just the way that a family is set up can impact the children’s thoughts and actions. 

Although age is a big aspect in a family, the number of children can greatly impact the dynamics. Even just an odd or even amount of children can be very different. I have a friend who is the middle of  five children in her family, and because there are two older than her and two younger, she is often the odd one out. In her family, there were originally supposed to be four children, but since the fourth was born without an arm, her parents decided to have another child because when a child has a younger sibling they tend to feel superior or responsible for that sibling. The dynamics would change for that sibling just because of an extra sibling in the family. There is a family in my ward with ten children, which is a little crazy. Something that I have noticed about this family is that the youngest sibling and the oldest sibling do not even act like siblings. The oldest child is more like a parent figure to that child. Because there are so many children in the family, causes such a great age gap that the youngest sibling could be learning how to talk while the oldest has already moved out of the house. The relationship between the two siblings is very distant. With that many kids in one house can also cause different groups to form. The oldest three or four children are a group, the middle children are a group, and the youngest children are a group as well. At this point is when the family becomes its own little community. In a family with very few children, the siblings become very close and form a stronger relationship in just one small group.

The final characteristic of the family that affects the dynamics is gender. I have three older boys and one youngest girl in my family. There are times when I can only relate to my brothers about certain things, because of our gender. Our household consists of lots of outdoor activities, wrestling, getting dirty outside, and other boy things. I have a friend who is very different from mine and has five girls in her family and no boys. It is crazy to see how different the family dynamics are from hers to mine. Her household consists of lots of boy talk and fighting over the curling iron or who has been in the bathroom the longest. My little sister refuses to talk about boys to any of us, but in a house of girls it is completely different. By looking at other families compared to my own, it is clear to see that characteristics such as age, gender, and number of kids have a major impact on what kind of family you have. There are plenty of stereotypes about the typical family, but every family is different. Boys will act differently than girls. A family of four is going to be significantly different than a family of ten. No family is better than another because every family has their struggles as well as unforgettable times.

Over the last week or so we have studied the idea of a decrease in the population as time moves forward. That now more than ever the population is decreasing and will continue to decrease, rapidly. And friends, I honestly had never really ever given this topic much thought. And to be quite frank with the discussion of it I felt myself feeling guilty, knowing that I fit right into the statistic. I have always imagined myself only having 2 children and not being married until a later age. And I can not help but think why. It seems so weird that we as a society and a rising generation feel the need to put off having a family to have worldly success. 

Statistics show the average family size in 2020 is 3.15 people. The majority of married couples have little to no children, and that is just couples that do end up getting married. “As of 2006, 55.7% of Americans age 18 and over were married,” as well as a divorce rate of 60%. Just 10 years in the past, the rates of having children and marriages were higher, and seemed to be the “norm” in society. What are the society norms today? Influencers tend to promote things such as self care and independency, especially for women. Just scrolling through social media there are countless posts that support “Doing things for myself” or “Being strong and independent.” People are praised for being on their own without a family or a spouse to rely on. Others see getting married and having children as “basic,” and feel the need to prove that life can be more than having a family. Is there anything wrong with getting married and having kids? Absolutely not. There are some who simply feel like they have more freedom when they are living for themselves and do not have to worry about others.

Occupations and job opportunities can play a major role in the decrease in population. Plenty of jobs require the employee to move around the area and possibly around the country, depending on the position. There are several downsides to moving when there is a family involved. Children form and strengthen relationships with other children, and sometimes a spouse has an occupation in the current area, so there is another conflict there as well. It is hard on a child when they have to move from area to area and repeatedly are treated as the “new kid.” This can result in low self-esteem and other long-lasting effects. No parent wants to be the cause of those effects on their child. Therefore, not getting married and living on your own avoids the problem altogether. 

Another reasonable possibility is financing. The more children you have, the more expensive your lifestyle becomes. Believe it or not, children do cost money. Money for school, money for clothes, money for food, etc. Once a child is brought into your life, you are responsible for that child until they are good to live out on their own. Some people simply can not afford to live that lifestyle. Your life is no longer about you, but it becomes about your children. Your life becomes your children. Their problems become your problems, their joy becomes your joy, and every little thing they do is your number one concern 24 hours of the day.

The last reason for the decrease in population is simply the lack of parental instincts of our generation. I personally believe there is a great number of people who have a strong dislike for children. With having children comes crying, yelling, diapers, annoying tv programs, and more. The list truly never ends. I believe there is a possibility that in the past, people may have had more patience than the current generation of adults. Our society, in general, is a lot different now than in years past, resulting in lower amounts of marriages and children in families.

 Hi! I am Drew Moldenhauer and this is my new blog where I will express my thoughts over the course of the next few months.